After a few posts on “trendy women’s clothing online” I would say it’s time to talk about our close people again. Probably most of you know that I came to USA from Europe about an year ago. I like it here and I admit – life is 10 times easier than in my country. We don’t need to survive, decent job is enough for having a normal life and enjoying all the normal things like nice car, house, fashion clothes, jewelry and so on. Unfortunately none of this things can replace my family or friends. I miss them more and more every day. I was thinking that will get used to it eventually. But it’s not true – when you really miss somebody time doesn’t heal, but it only gets worse.
Maybe it’s a cultural difference, maybe I am wrong, but I don’t see such a strong influence of the friendship here. And that even makes it harder for me, because I can not find people that will share my understanding of “friend“. For example, to me the promise really matters and when I say something, will do my best to keep the word. However from my observations – some people here can say something, schedule an appointment, make a promise and then….boom…, they act like nothing happened and you are not even supposed to get an apology. Well I can’t accept that, to me the “word” has a meaning and it’s not like talking only not to fall asleep. That’s why I call you friend or a close person, because I want you to keep your promise. I can talk bullshit with the people from the street, I don’t need friends to do that. And maybe it’s me not thinking right, but I don’t like this kind of people who make me miss my home even more and more.
We do not need to be that fake. It is ok NOT to like somebody, not to smile when you are sad, not to talk when you don’t have what to say. People said long time ago: “Be yourself – life is too short to be somebody else”. To pretend all day is exhausting. There is no point to miss the real life while trying to be nice with the others just for the idea “everybody should like me”. We don’t need that, even if two people in the world like me, that’s enough, as long as, I can call them friends.
“Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you!”
Check out more posts devoted on friendship.
I really enjoyed reading this post. People in the western world are brought up to think mostly about themselves and a little bit about their family & friends when they become adults. Sadly, nothing can be done – it’s like talking to a brick wall.
Keeping a friend is tough when you don’t see each other often but I guess this is a test of who your true friends are- the ones that remain in ouch with you if you are far far away
In recent years the idea of friendship, and it’s definition, have really been put to the test in my life. As I started up college I was introduced to new people. When I moved away from home I was introduced to a different world. I’ve felt confident in the amount of “friends” that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I was always about the quality more so than the quantity. After learning that research in mental well being has proven that after 3 friends you no longer gain any true benefits I was always happy calling just 3 people friends. We’ve grown apart. The distance and time that separates us now has taught us to value our friendship more. We’ve come to learn that people in American society really can’t meet our standards of friendship; they’re not worthy of being called friend.
For me personally my word has always been incredibly important to me. My friends know that if I say something I’ll come through for them, or at the very least I am telling the truth. It’s to easy now-a-days to make a promise to someone and then back out of it for some very unconventional reason. Still, people do it. Unlike yourself, however, I was not raised in a European country. From my understanding relationships are entirely different over the big pond, and much more appeasing to the common definition that people like us seem to hold. Your insight into a world that I envy is most graciously appreciated. Perhaps with our efforts we can spread that definition till it is ubiquitous among the people that surround us.
“When have teachers ever known how to motivate their students?”
Luz, wherever you were brought up – I would like that place. Societies that still value word of promise and true friendship are rare but if they exist here over the big pond that means there are still some cool people around us:)
Hey Luz,
Thank you so much for this comment. I am so glad to find people like you, as if more people think like you, this world will be a better place
Thank you.